Just an Illusion - The B Side Page 5

  “Just you. Come get some rest.” With a yawn, I crawl in next to him and wrap myself in his embrace. “Next time, take the pills, babe. It will make it easier on Sawyer if you’re not in pain while he changes your bandage.”

  “Easier? I didn’t think I was being difficult.”

  “Did you ask for his help?” Noah’s voice has an edge to it; if I didn’t know better, I’d think he was jealous.

  “No, he offered. Since you can’t help right now, and Belle is squeamish, I took him up on it.”

  “So is he,” Noah murmurs.

  “He’s what?”

  “Squeamish, big time. Sawyer hates seeing even a papercut. He’s been this way since before he ever walked into J’s house that day. But Sawyer is good about doing things he hates for the people he cares about.” Noah brushes my hair away from my face as I let his words wash over me.

  “I feel awful. I didn’t know …”

  “It’s okay, Mel, he wouldn’t have offered if he were unwilling.”

  Looking deeply into his eyes, I confess some of what I haven’t told him yet. “Last night, when Sawyer pulled me from the car, there was blood everywhere. He pulled off his shirt and used it to clean my face, my eyes … I couldn’t see. Then he held it to my wound to keep it from bleeding. We were both covered in blood at that point. The whole situation was a nightmare, but now I know he’s got issues … I mean, I figured he might but not to this extent.”

  Noah hugs me close and kisses me gently. “I’m sorry I wasn’t the one who helped you, and I’m so sorry my past nearly got you killed. I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make this up to you, Mel, I promise.”

  “Just love me, Noah, and never let me go. Last night wasn’t your fault, but it was a wakeup call. I don’t want to waste another minute of my life, especially where we’re concerned. The next month is going to give us plenty of time to do things and get to know even more about each other, and I can’t wait.”

  “That I can do easily. Not loving you has never been an option. I meant what I told Rory … from the minute you told Sawyer off at The Greek I knew there was something special about you.”

  I nestle my head into the crook of Noah’s arm and fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat in my ear and his fingers playing with my hair.

  By the time I wake up, it’s dark outside. Noah is fast asleep next to me and even though I try, I can’t fall back asleep. My mind is running a million miles a minute with no direct cause. It’s all just a rampant mashup of fleeting memories of my parents, our house, my grandma, Eli, Belle, and Sara; it’s making me anxious.

  Finally, I reach over and grab my phone from the table. After propping myself up on some pillows, I adjust myself, hoping to block the glow of my phone from Noah. He finally seems to be resting peacefully, and I don’t want to disturb him.

  As I browse through my emails, I groan in frustration. There are so many media requests for exclusive stories from my perspective as Noah’s girlfriend, as the New York Times Bestselling Author, as the daughter of Joey and Iris Triton, and of course, someone even pulled the “official BAD biographer” card. I’m not even going to waste my time answering them and likely never will. This is Noah’s story to tell if he ever decides he wants to.

  Belle and I end up texting back and forth for a bit, but I’m still restless. As I scroll through my earlier text messages, I realize I never replied to the video Sawyer sent me with one of my own. “Thank You” by Dido seems appropriate to get my point across. I’m appreciative for him and how he’s helping us and me. Between saving me, staying with me, feeding us, and even helping with my wound, Sawyer has stepped up again and again. Knowing Sawyer cares about me enough to help me repeatedly comforts me in a way I didn’t expect. If there’s anyone who surprises me at every turn, good or bad, it’s Sawyer. Life will never be boring when he’s around.

  When all is said and done, I spend most of the night reading while curled up against Noah’s side. He sleeps soundly through the night; it’s a relief after his painful night in the hospital. The rise and fall of his chest keeps me calm as I watch over him. The man I love was almost killed. I know I haven’t even come close to processing what happened, but as long as I have Noah by my side, nothing else matters.

  Sawyer never texts me back, but I didn’t really expect him to. He knows I appreciate him and I’m here for him if he ever needs the favor returned. Who would have thought when all of this started that Sawyer and I would end up becoming close friends?

  Belle’s Pre-Holiday Update

  Slammers!

  It’s your girl Belle, and I’ve got the latest 411 on your BAD boys! Even though I’m your official BAD source, I’m not going to re-hash what has been filling your TV and computer screens for days. If you want details on the horrific events that happened over Thanksgiving, you can visit slammedinc.com and click on the exclusive on our home page.

  That being said, let’s get to the good updates. Noah and Mel are healing well, and the tour is on track to start up right after the new year. These guys are excited to get back on the road and pick up where they left off. On the plus side, because of the holidays, there are only two weeks of shows that had to be canceled while Noah heals from his injuries. Those shows will still be happening, but they’re going to be tacked onto the end of the tour. If you were one of the cities affected, October will be your month for all things BAD.

  Speaking of the holidays, since BAD is on a temporary hiatus, don’t expect any new updates unless something major happens. Instead, take this time and step away from social media. Enjoy your friends and family and remember why they’re so important to you. So many of us forget to slow down and take the necessary time to reflect on life and where we want to be as often as we should. Make yourself a priority this holiday season and take the time to enjoy every happiness. Life is too short to let it pass you by without being an active participant. Take time for you.

  As always, don’t forget … Live today like there’s no tomorrow.

  Xs and Os

  Belle

  Making Amends

  The past few days have been great. Visitors were kept at a minimum, Sawyer stayed true to his word and kept the “non-essentials” in check. Noah was having fewer episodes of dizziness and stayed awake for longer periods of time. Light still bothered him some, as well as loud noises, but we were all able to talk at a normal volume, including him. Last night, he even sat in bed and lightly strummed his guitar. He’s been quiet and contemplative, but he never wants me to leave his side, either—almost like he’s afraid I’m going to disappear into thin air. This morning, however, I awoke to an empty bed, which is exactly why I’m freaking out right now. I’ve checked the garage, his office, our room, the front and back of the house, and I can’t find him anywhere. It’s raining outside, so I know he’s not at the beach.

  “Jesus, Princess, what’s got your panties in a wad?” Sawyer asks as he walks out of the pantry with a pack of Pop-Tarts.

  “Noah! Have you seen him? I can’t find him anywhere!”

  He places his food on the counter and looks up at me. “What do you mean can’t find him?”

  I throw my hands up in frustration. “Exactly that. I woke up and he was gone. No note, nothing. There’s no trace of him in this house. His wallet and keys are gone off the dresser. Where would he go, Sawyer?” Tears are building, and I’m trying to blink them back but it’s no use. I’m scared.

  Sawyer is scanning through his messages, typing furiously on his phone. Belle and Darren shuffle out of their room sleepily to see what the commotion is all about.

  “What’s wrong, Mel?” Belle asks softly as she wipes my tears away.

  “Noah’s missing,” Sawyer snaps back angrily. “Wyatt and Noah aren’t answering their texts.” He puts his phone to his ear and makes a call. “Bethie … do you know where Wyatt is? Because him and Noah aren’t answering their phones or their texts and Noah is missing. Yeah … okay, thanks. I’ll l
et you know if they call me, too.” He slams his phone onto the counter, his frantic eyes meeting mine. “She hasn’t heard from either of them, but she’s going to try to reach them.”

  “Why would he disappear?” Squeezing Belle’s hand, she winces. “Sorry, Belle.”

  With a smile, she replies, “It’s okay, babe. Just remember this when I’m in labor and I need your hand.” My hand drops to her belly and I rub it softly. She’s got the tiniest little pooch, probably not even noticeable to anyone else except maybe Darren. Knowing the little peanut in there is growing safely away from her Auntie Mel’s freak out calms me down a bit.

  “When was the last time you saw him? Did he say anything strange?” All eyes are on me as I think about Sawyer’s questions.

  “We fell asleep in each other’s arms last night, and he didn’t say anything out of the ordinary. In fact, he was even playing his guitar last night.”

  With a frustrated groan, Sawyer picks up his phone again. “Mac, I need you to track Wyatt and Noah’s phones. Target their GPS and let me know where they are ASAP. I’m sorry to interrupt your leave, but we really need your help with this … Yeah … Thanks, man.”

  Belle rubs my arm softly. “I’m sure everything is fine, Mel. He probably just wanted to get some air and he and Wyatt took a drive.”

  “But why wouldn’t he leave a note? Or text me? Or answer my calls?”

  “I don’t know, babe, but I’m sure he has a reason. Trust him. He’s never given you a reason not to.”

  Belle’s reply sets me off. “You think this is about trust? I’m worried about him, Belle! Until yesterday, he almost fell over every time he stood up and now he’s just out for a joyride? I don’t buy it. Something’s not right here.”

  “I’m with Princess. This isn’t sitting right with me, either. Noah’s more responsible than this. But Wyatt is a different fucking story. He’d take any of Noah’s secrets to the grave if Noah asked him to.” Sawyer is cut off by his ringing phone, which he promptly answers. “What did you find?” He’s quiet for a minute and then his expression becomes furious. “Unfuckingbelievable. Yeah, I got it … No, it’s not necessary. If he doesn’t come back in an hour or two, I’ll have you check it out. Thanks.”

  Sawyer grips the counter and blows out a breath before speaking. “They’re at a shopping center, both phones pinged to the same location. Only Noah would fucking get up and go Christmas shopping this early in the morning without saying a word.” Sawyer grabs his Pop-Tarts and his coffee and storms off to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

  “You okay, Mel?” Darren asks as he wraps his arm around Belle.

  “Yeah … sure. I’m sorry I snapped at you, Belle. I didn’t mean it.”

  She looks up at me and shrugs “It’s okay. I could have worded it better. I know Noah isn’t like Eli, and I don’t think he ever will be. Maybe he wanted to get you a gift and thought he’d be back sooner.”

  “Maybe. I’m going to go take a shower. You guys should go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you up like that.”

  After letting my frustrated tears pour out into the shower, I throw on a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. I’m so emotional since the accident and I can’t shake it. I’m hoping it’s just the pain medication setting my moods off track and it’s not some sort of traumatic after-effect of what happened. Maybe I should make an appointment with the therapist just to be sure. If it doesn’t go away after I stop taking the medication, I will.

  The house is quiet once again, and I hesitate before knocking on Sawyer’s door. The sounds of his guitar greet my ears and it’s the sweetest music. He’s singing along to the music, but I can’t hear the words, which is a shame; Sawyer is one of the most talented singers I’ve ever heard, even if he spent the last nine years avoiding showing off how beautiful his voice can be. This acoustic album really highlights his voice. It would keep him in the business for decades to come if he would allow himself to follow a different path. Noah could be right there with him, too. Where Noah has a raspier effect like Bob Dylan, Sawyer has a smooth flow like Eric Clapton. Together they’re a powerhouse but apart they could be legends in their own right.

  Finally, I stop eavesdropping and knock on his door. “Come in,” he answers immediately, smiling when he sees me. His smile, when it’s genuine and not sinful it’s a sight for sore eyes. “Hey, Princess, what can I do for you?”

  Holding up the small bag of medical supplies, I ask for his help. “I was hoping you could help out a damsel in distress?”

  Laughing, he lays his guitar down on his bed and stands up, motioning for me to sit down. “Of course. I was raised to never leave a damsel in distress. Any news from Noah yet?” he asks as he spreads the antibiotic ointment over my wound. It’s slowly getting better but still stings. I think the pain is mostly from the muscle bruising now.

  “Nope, nothing. And it really pisses me off. I’ve been with him night and day since before Thanksgiving and he just disappears as if everything is back to being okay? I’m actually thinking about getting a hotel until we go back on tour.”

  As Sawyer wraps the bandage around my arm, he remains quiet. After he tapes it down, he takes a seat next to me on the bed. “Look, Princess, I know you’re pissed and you’ve got every right to be. I don’t know what crawled up Noah’s ass today, but I do know he loves you more than anything and if you leave he’ll be devastated. Give him a chance to explain before you do something drastic, okay?”

  He’s so sweet when he’s sticking up for his brother; it makes me feel like a complete bitch. “I’ll try. What were you playing before? It sounded great.”

  Sawyer rolls his eyes at me. “You would think that since I was playing something that isn’t mine. It was “So” by Ed Sheeran.”

  “I love him, he’s so talented. Will you play it for me?”

  Sawyer is suddenly blushing, and I want to tease him about it, but for some reason I have the feeling this is a big deal for him. “I don’t typically do solo performances for people, especially on demand.”

  “Oh, come on. You sing in front of me on the bus every day while you guys are practicing.”

  “Yeah, but that’s group rehearsal. Regardless of what you may think, I’m not comfortable going solo. The guys are kind of my buffers in a way.”

  Wow … that’s different.

  “So what about for your girlfriends? You don’t sing for them, either?”

  With a slight shake of his head, Sawyer leans back on his elbows while I scoot back up against his headboard so I can see his face. “I’ve never had any.”

  “Any what?” He can’t mean girlfriends.

  “Girlfriends.” He’s blushing again, and there are so many questions I want to ask him.

  “Never, Sawyer? Why?” My heart aches for him. Why is he so closed off?

  “This is just two friends talking, right? Not author and subject?”

  “Of course. Even when I write the book you guys are all going to have a final say. I’d never put something in it you didn’t want the world to know. I know what that’s like, Sawyer, it happened to my parents all the time. Anything you tell me, that any of you tell me, is safe with me. I promise.”

  He squeezes my ankle, almost as if reassuring himself.

  “It’s not that big of a deal. In high school, I wasn’t worried about having a serious girlfriend. I was into my music. There were always going to be girls, but music felt like a limited opportunity for some reason. And where there are boys in a band there are girls offering up their virtue, so I wasn’t lacking in opportunities for sex.”

  I laugh at his words because no matter the age, groupies are all the same. He cracks a smile, probably relieved I’m laughing and not lecturing him.

  “Then we got signed and there was no time and to be honest … no motivation to find just one girl to settle with. I mean, I saw Wyatt and Anna and how solid their relationship was. I wasn’t going to find something like that on the road. S
omething like what my parents have, or Diane and Rob.”

  “Is that what you want? Something solid like that?”

  Trailing his fingers down my foot, he sits up and props himself next to me. “Someday, sure. I thought maybe I could have that with Marilyn, I really did have feelings for her. After all that went down, I guess you could say I lost my faith I’d find a good woman out there at all while I was involved with this industry. She was our friend and she still did that to us … imagine what a groupie would do.”

  This is one of the best conversations we’ve ever had; I’m loving the way he’s opening himself up to me. “Sawyer, you have to know all women aren’t like that. I understand your fears, I swear I do. I’ve seen those girls, and women, my entire life. But there are good women out there and you’ll find yours, I promise.”

  “I know. I’ve realized that more and more lately. Seeing Darren with Belle, and you with Noah, it gives me hope. I’m still young and I’ll never have any regrets some people have about not doing all the fun things they wanted to in their teenage years and beyond. I’m not even thirty and if I died tomorrow I’d have few, if any, regrets. I’m not in a place where I want a wife and kids anyway.”

  My gaze locks onto his, as he tugs that damn lip ring into his mouth. I swear that’s my biggest weakness with him. “What do you want, Sawyer?”

  He releases his lip but not his lock on my eyes. For a moment, I’m certain he’s going to confess his deepest desires, but he averts his gaze at the last second instead. “To finish the tour and readjust to life. Once I figure out who I am outside of BAD, maybe I’ll have a better idea about what or who I want in my future.”

  “I get that. Finding normal after living years of an unconventional life isn’t easy. It took me a long time to adjust after everything with my parents. You’ll get there, Sawyer, and I’ll help you however I can.” He looks leery, and it annoys me. “What? You don’t believe me?”