Releasing Kate: The Acceptance Series Read online

  RELEASING KATE

  Copyright © 2014 D. Kelly

  Editing by - Tiffany Tillman

  Cover design by - Regina Wamba of Mae I Design

  Formatting by Max Henry of Max Effect

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information contact Dee Kelly www.dkellyauthor.com

  This book contains mature subject matter and is not appropriate for minors. Please note this novel contains profanity, sexual situations and alcohol consumption.

  Dee Kelly

  P.O. Box 630185

  Simi Valley, CA. 93063

  BOOKS BY D. KELLY

  The Acceptance Series

  Breaking Kate – Book One

  Catching Kate – A novella Book 1.5

  Releasing Kate – Book Two

  Coming Soon

  Loving Kate – Book Three of The Acceptance Series, March 2015

  Just an Illusion – Spring 2015

  DEDICATION

  This book is dedicated to my street team, D’s Divine Divas. Without the strength, love, and support of these amazing women, I don’t know where I would be. They are my pickle pimping, margarita loving, sombrero wearing, Friday night story telling crew. They are not only my friends, but have become family, and I love them more than they could possibly know. We are going to take Vegas by storm next November and I can’t wait! I love you girls and I hope I do you proud. Thank you for all your love and support.

  “Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”

  ― Khalil Gibran

  PROLOGUE

  CONNOR

  Six weeks after the engagement party

  “Don’t, Connor, just DON’T! Kate is my best friend—my fucking sister—but she is out of her ever loving, god damn mind! What the hell was she thinking tonight? She just crossed the most uncrossable line, and of course there was no reasoning with her because she was so damn drunk.”

  As she walks toward me, I can see exactly when her anger slowly begins to dissipate into sadness. This happens whenever she gets worked up over Kate and her situation, which has been a lot lately. “I know, Jess, but put yourself in her shoes for a minute. How would you be acting if the two loves of your life were playing tug of war with you? I’ll be the first to admit her tequila habit is an issue, but after what she thought she saw tonight, can you blame her?”

  “Yes I can because she’s smart enough not to drink herself to the point of oblivion. Her actions have a trickledown effect and we’re all going to have to deal with the consequences.”

  She’s so stubborn.

  “She did what I told her to, she let loose, she was having a good time; she almost looked like our Kate again. With all the chaos in her life right now, that’s a good thing.”

  “Why are you defending her?”

  “I’m not defending her, but before we judge her, we need to assume she knows what she was doing. I’m not sure she was that drunk, either, but our girl is heartbroken with a capital H. All else aside, we just have to be there for her when she finally succumbs to the pain and falls. Unfortunately, that’s going to happen sooner rather than later, but maybe that’s a good thing. Once she breaks and lets it all out, only then will she begin to heal.”

  Taking her hand in mine, I pull her into a tight embrace. She clings to me in desperation, as if I’m her anchor. Her mood is one of sadness and longing. During the last few weeks, we haven’t had a whole lot of time for ourselves. Instead, we’ve been managing our friends, trying to keep them sane and from inflicting bodily harm on each other. All of it is putting a strain on our relationship. We haven’t had much alone time and forgot our sex-a-thons. I make a mental note to find a way to change that real soon.

  “Go upstairs and take a nice, relaxing bath. I’ll wait up for Kate and talk her off the ledge when she gets home, if she gets home. Besides, you’re way too worked up to talk to her gently and I don’t think she can handle more than a gentle discussion, not after tonight.”

  Jess sobs into my chest, clutching on to my shirt extra tight as her tears begin to fall. I brush them aside tenderly with my fingers and tilt her head up so I can kiss the rest away. It kills me when she cries, and she’s been crying a lot lately.

  “I just… I just… damn, Connor, I just love her so fucking much, you know? She was happy. For the first time in years she was my Kate again. There was light in her eyes, happiness in her laugh, and so much love in her heart. I’m losing her slowly this time and it’s worse than before. She’s self-destructing right in front of our eyes and none of us are going to come out of this unscathed.”

  She’s right. After tonight, the boundaries of our friendships are going to be put to the test.

  “I’m exhausted and my feet hurt, so I’m going to take you up on your offer to deal with her. I’m the last person she’ll want to see, anyway. Just don’t stay up too late, okay? I have a feeling her bed isn’t going to be slept in.” She places the whisper of a kiss on my lips, and instead of those fuck me heels she had on all night being wrapped around my neck, they’re now in her hands as she drags herself up the stairs.

  When did our happy group become the biggest episode of Dawson’s Creek ever written? Yes, I went there, don’t judge. April made us watch the whole damn series with her when she had her tonsils out. However, in our version of the creek I would be the straight version of Jack. I guess that makes Kate our resident Joey, Mike would be Dawson, and Daniel would be Pacey. On the show, where Pacey clearly violated every rule known to man by stealing his best friend’s girl, it’s the flipside over here. In our creek, Dawson, aka Mike, is clearly in the wrong. He gave up any and all rights to Kate when he stormed out of her life four years ago, never to return. Daniel is devastated but determined, and Jake has taken Mike’s side in all of it which makes things difficult. I’m trying to stay neutral. I love them, but my priority is Kate. In their defense, they are trying to be amicable, but how they’re going about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It doesn’t always work, though, and things can get tense between them. Thankfully, it’s typically not when Kate’s around. Thank god for that because that is the last thing she needs to worry about. They need to work that shit out themselves and leave her out of it. This isn’t on Kate’s shoulders—it shouldn’t be—this whole mess is between them. While Kate is being the strong one, the moral one, the one standing up for family, and for friendship, they’re being pig-headed assholes in the midst of the biggest pissing match I have ever seen. They’re all hurting and will likely continue to do so until after the baby comes, and then who knows what will happen.

  I can see it in Kate’s eyes, though; she’s in love with them both. After hearing about her past with Mike and knowing how her fairytale with Daniel started, I can see why. After what they’ve been doing the past few weeks it’s just making those feelings stronger. I wouldn’t want to be in her shoes; it’s an impossible decision. I know who she belongs with, who her heart leans to. I can hear it when she speaks, see it in her expressions. But tonight she took the path unchosen—the one that might lead her to temporary bliss—but it’s going to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. She essentially opened Pandora’s Box. Let’s just pray when it’s all said and done that hope still remains in the bottom of the box.

  The sound of keys jiggling in the lock awakens me from a broken s
leep. When I look at my watch, I see it’s almost five thirty in the morning. There’s a blanket over me that wasn’t there before. Jess must have come down and covered me; I can’t believe I didn’t notice. I’d give anything to be wrapped in her arms right now, but tonight, well actually morning now, I know Kate’s going to need me more. I’m sure Jess knows it, too, which is why she didn’t wake me.

  Kate opens the door and immediately locks it behind her.

  Good girl.

  As she turns around, she lets her shoes fall from her hands and drop to the floor. She leans against the door and slides down to the floor. Her cheeks are stained with tears, with endless more falling as she hugs her knees and buries her head into them. My heart breaks for her because I know her bottom has finally fallen out. Taking the blanket with me, I cross the room, dropping to the floor beside her. I proceed to cover her with the blanket and wrap her in my embrace.

  “Connor, oh god what have I done?” Her words are expelled between massive sobs that show no signs of slowing down. I can empathize with her, but I’ve never been in this situation. All I know is whatever I say, it needs to be said carefully, so I don’t make things worse. I wish Jess was here, but ever since Kate found out about the message Jess kept from her a few years ago things have been tense between them to say the least.

  “It’s going to be okay, baby girl. Whatever happens next, you just need to trust it will all be okay.”

  She continues to sob while I rub her back, trying to calm her down. Using my free hand, I pull her hair away from her face.

  “You don’t know what I did tonight, Connor. I can’t take it back, no matter how hard I try, I can’t take it back. They’re going to hate me and I deserve it.” I’ve got a good idea what she did tonight. You’d have to be a fool not to know, but I don’t say anything. She needs comforting, not scolding.

  “No they won’t, Katie Grace, they won’t hate you. No one could ever hate you. They’re going to be pissed. Really, really, pissed. But you didn’t do anything wrong. You’re not in a relationship with them. Either of them. They’ll get over it. At one time or another we’ve all done something we shouldn’t have, something in our lives we’ve regretted along the way. It happens and we learn from it. That’s why they’re called mistakes and no one can keep us from making them, because if they did we would never learn the lesson we’re supposed to gain from them.”

  Her sobs are beginning to slow and she’s even wiping her tears away from her bloodshot eyes. This is a good sign, something I can work with.

  “I don’t regret it at all but I was so mad, Connor. I’ve never felt that kind of anger and pain before and I finally understood.”

  “Understood what?” I’m officially lost now.

  “Why Mike did what he did, why he left me all those years ago. And in that instant, tonight, when I let all of that anger consume me, I couldn’t blame him anymore. Because I get it now.”

  I let out a low whistle and try to wrap my head around this piece of information.

  “So what now?”

  She sits up against me, shoulder to shoulder, and leans her head against mine.

  “Now, I deal with the fallout. I’m not going any further down this rabbit hole. Mike did it for years and look where it got him. I did it for one night; I’m not equipped for this. I can’t cover pain with pleasure; it just hurts more in the end.”

  “You just went about it wrong, baby girl. Mike’s rabbit hole was filled with nothing but strangers. Yours was a little too close to heart. Not that I’m encouraging your delinquent behavior, but next time try the stranger route. If you want, I can try and find Aimee and Julie for you.”

  Ouch, she socked me, hard. Too soon to joke, I guess.

  “Not funny,” she replies with a pout.

  I place a kiss on top of her head. “No, I suppose not. I just wanted to lighten things up a bit.”

  “Next time, tell me a dirty joke. I don’t want to think about the two of them with the two of them.”

  She shudders next to me. “I still can’t believe those assholes kept that a secret all this time. But you’re not enjoying this conversation at all so let’s change the subject. What’s your plan?”

  Sighing, she replies, “Well, I’m sure since I snuck out I’m going to have some shit to deal with tomorrow aside from the stuff I already have to deal with.”

  “Umm, yeah, about that, I guess now is as good of time as any to tell you. He was there tonight. He went to talk to you, and he wanted to clear things up. He saw you, Kate. He knows. And he was devastated.”

  “Well I saw him, too. Earlier, remember?”

  “Sometimes, looks can be deceiving. I tried to tell you I didn’t think he would do that. Not now, not with everything going on. If you would have talked to him you might have had a different opinion.”

  Rage flashes in her eyes and she scrambles to her feet.

  “So you’re on his side now? Whatever, Connor, I don’t need this, not from you and most definitely not right now.”

  Damn she’s pissed.

  She spins around and starts to run away but I’m faster than she is. Reaching out, I grab her around the waist, pulling her into me.

  “Stop it. I know you’re hurt and you’re reeling from more than just what happened tonight. Even if you won’t admit it to yourself. I’m not on anyone’s side here but yours. Haven’t you realized by now? That I’m in this for the long haul with you? I’m being honest with you because that’s what you deserve. You reacted to what you saw, or thought you saw tonight. You’re human and it happens, but now it’s caused a domino effect. Things have been falling down around you in rapid succession for weeks; it was only a matter of time before you snapped. All you can do now is OWN it, ACCEPT it, EMBRACE it, and MOVE ON from it. You made a choice and now they can all either live with it or get the fuck off.”

  She relaxes into me and her tears hit my hands as they fall.

  “I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know how to be me without them. Either of them.”

  After gently kissing the top of her head, I spin her around and wipe away her tears. I hate that we’ve missed out on so many years of our lifelong friendship.

  “I don’t know, either, but I’ll be here with you until you figure it out, I promise.”

  CHAPTER ONE

  KATE

  Six weeks earlier

  Everyone’s downstairs; I heard Daniel and Mike begin to argue, but as quickly as it started, it stopped. I’m sure Connor and Jess squashed it. I’m not immune to this situation. I know I’m withdrawn and likely came off cold when I told them what occurred last night. But it was the only way I could get through the conversation without collapsing on the floor and crying my soul right out of my body. Sounds dramatic, right? That’s because it is, but it’s also the truth. Maybe this is karma paying me back. I’ve always had empathy for people, but I’ve never understood those who say they’re in love with two people and don’t know how to choose one. I’ve always considered their situation a self-made mess because the truth of the matter is that if you loved the first person with all your heart and soul you would have never been able to fall in love with the second. Now I realize that what I previously thought was black and white has a really wide margin for grey.

  I am in love with Daniel—head over heels, catch my breath, heart skipping a beat, butterflies in my stomach, would throw myself in front of a train to save him kind of love. Daniel is everything I ever hoped to find in the man I want to spend my life with. I’ve envisioned our life already—our home, our kids, our family, our happily ever after. Daniel is the epitome of the definition of one true love and soul mate.

  Then there’s Mike, my Michael, the boy who made my world work when it crumbled at my fingertips. I don’t have any memories from the time I was seven years old until I was nineteen that don’t include him. He was the one who walked me to school every day and got me home safe and sound every night. He’s the boy who kissed me for the first time so gently
as well as being the first one to kiss me breathless. Our love was all-encompassing and strengthened by our lifelong friendship. He would do anything for me then…or now…I can still see it in his eyes. And I would do anything for him, even after everything we’ve been through. We shared a child, and even if she wasn’t meant for this lifetime, it is an unbreakable bond that holds us together. I’ve missed him so much. I should be happy having him back in my life, but not under these circumstances.

  My time with Michael has passed, and although I have a never-ending amount of love for him, I’m not in love with him. Unfortunately, I can see those lines being easily blurred because of our past. I guess that is where those shades of grey come into play. If this was only about love I would get my happily ever after with Daniel. Everyone deserves to be made love to and fucked by a man who can give it in equal doses all while covering you in a love so strong you’ll never want to let go. I can’t imagine finding anyone else I connect with on that level…ever again.

  Michael was my great love and Daniel is my true love. Now, if and when I ever find love again, I’m going to have to settle for less. What’s left? Comfortable love? Companionable love? Damn sure not forever love. I’ll never again believe in forever love. I thought I had forever love with both of them, but now I know all we’ll ever be is friends. Friends, god it sounds like such a fucking joke right now. My mind tells me I’m being smart, that this is the best decision for us all. Eventually, we’ll all be good friends and more than that; we’ll be family. That’s what’s important in this life: family, the ones we’re given and the ones we make. Michael and Daniel are family, and no matter how much I hate not being with Daniel I’ll get over it. I won’t be responsible for the loss of their friendship by picking one over the other. In the beginning, it will be rough for them, but eventually they’ll move past it and their friendship and brotherhood will remain intact. I only wish I could say the same for my heart.