Broken Beats: An Illusion Series Novel Read online

  “We can do that, Mommy. Right, Cady?” The solemn expression on Nate’s face kicks me right in the gut. Maybe I’m missing Noah a bit extra today. We may not have been brothers by blood, but that never mattered to us.

  “Yup, we’ll get lots of stars, Nate.” Cady laces their fingers together, and they walk hand in hand back to the car.

  We are so fortunate to still have them with us. These kids survived the accident because they have a greater purpose in life. I’m not sure what it is, but I can’t wait to find out.

  LATER THAT EVENING, I grab a blanket and head down to our spot on the beach. It’s where Belle and I had sex for the first time. The place we took Cadence to the last Fourth of July we were home from tour. That was the weekend we set our wedding date, and the memory is sharp and clear in my mind.

  “She’s out.” Belle smiles sweetly as she bundles our little girl up in her carrier.

  “Come here.” Belle cuddles into my arms as we look up at the stars. “Mary May and Bobby” by Joe Purdy plays softly from my phone.

  “Marry me.”

  She tips her head toward mine and grins. “I thought that was already a given.”

  “It is, but I want us to pick a date. We’ve done it your way, Belle. We’ve given our love a chance to grow, we waited to meet our daughter, and we’re planning our future. What are we waiting for?”

  Belle sighs. “Nothing, but I continue getting stuck on the legalities of it all, you know? Why do I have to pay for court documents and file paperwork to prove I love you and want to be with you? Why can’t we have that with each other? Right here, right now, under the stars with our daughter, the universe, and God as our witnesses?”

  I flip to my side, and she turns to face me.

  “Can’t we have both? We can get married now and seal our hearts. I’m yours, Belle, for as long as you’ll have me. And then how about Thanksgiving weekend we get married at our house? I want a day to share with our friends and family. What better day than Thanksgiving?”

  “Your grandma will have a heart attack if you actually marry the black girl.”

  “It won’t be any worse than when my dad married the Mexican girl down the block.”

  “If you say so.” She trails her fingers down my arms.

  “Belle, I want the three of us to be a family. I want you to share our last name. Call me old-fashioned, but I want to know I have legal rights as your husband if something were to happen. And I wouldn’t mind shoving my head up your dress and sneaking a lick of your sweet pussy while everyone assumes I’m tugging the garter from your upper thigh. Peeling the dress off you at the end of the night will be pretty hot too, but so would pushing you up against the wall and fucking you while you’re still wearing it. Getting the bride dirty is such a hot fantasy.”

  She presses her head against my chest and laughs. “You’re so fucking dirty, but dammit if that isn’t one of my favorite things about you. God made you for me, Darren. We can bind our hearts tonight and combine our legal entities in November.”

  I caress her cheek with my thumb and lower my lips to hers for a quick kiss. Cady is a light sleeper and I want to do this before she wakes up.

  “Belle Dixson, I didn’t know what love was until you. When I first saw you, I was drawn to you immediately. I wanted to know everything about the gorgeous, petite woman in front of me who was larger than life. The night we fucked for the first time, I finally understood how my dad was so sure my mom was the one for him. This incredible awareness washed over my entire being, and I knew you were the only woman I ever wanted to bang my bongo again.”

  Belle giggles at my much-used euphemism for sex.

  Taking a deep breath, I continue. “You’re the bravest woman I know. We did things a little backward, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want to explore the world with you and fall in love with all the hidden wonders of the world together. I’m going to love you for the rest of my life and probably well into the next one too. I don’t think it was a coincidence you and Mel were the ones to interview the band that night. I’m pretty sure we’ve been fated for each other all along. Marry me, for now and eternity.”

  Belle tries so hard to keep her emotions in check, but tears stream down her face, and she doesn’t try to stop me from wiping them away. “Yes, I’ll marry you, for now and always.”

  She inhales deeply and entwines her fingers with mine.

  “Darren Miller, the old Belle would laugh at the idea of being fated to anyone. Mel and I are lucky to have you and Noah. Both of you love so completely at times it’s hard to believe this is my life now. The first time Bastards and Dangerous landed on my radar, I was drawn to you. I thought it was a harmless celebrity crush until the night we met. I realized harmless was far from the truth. It felt like a piece of myself that had been missing my entire life had finally been given back to me. I couldn’t explain it. Maybe that’s why I was so careless about not using a condom. But even that choice proves the universe had a bigger plan for us because we two became three, and I’ve never been happier.”

  Belles words coat my soul in an incredible amount of pride. I can’t believe this strong, beautiful woman is marrying me. I’ll never forget this night as long as I live.

  “I never want you to think I was opposed to marrying you. It’s just … what we share between us is all-encompassing. I’m not making much sense, I know, but marriage feels like the end in a way. It’s the thing you do when you’ve taken all the other roads. I didn’t want us to lose what makes us special by agreeing to some ritualistic ceremony where my family wants us to jump the broom and your family wants to lasso us together. I don’t care about traditions; I only care about you. I don’t want to lose what’s special about us while we’re arguing out the details between our families. This night is what I’m going to carry with me. My heart is yours, Darren, for every moment of this life and until I find you in my next one. I love you more than I ever thought possible. Your love has opened a whole new part of me I can’t wait to fill with adventures and memories that will stay with me long after we’re gone from this earth. Marry me, Darren. Be my husband, my partner in life, my co-parent, and my ride or die.”

  We both laugh, but then she focuses her bright eyes on me. “See, that right there is why this works. We’re supposed to be serious, but when I can’t do it and crack a joke to ease the moment, you laugh with me. You’ve never made me feel anything other than loved and accepted for who I am. I’ve never been with a man long enough to truly let down my guard and be myself around him, but with you, that’s all I’ve ever been. I love you.”

  I wrap my arms around her and pull her flush to my body. “I love you, and I’m going to love being your husband. Kiss me, wife.”

  Belle wraps her arms around my neck as our lips meet. Her mouth parts and our tongues meet passionately. Her needy whimpers go straight to my dick as we devour each other. With each stroke of her tongue against mine, our connection strengthens. I can’t imagine a time when kissing her won’t be my absolute favorite thing to do. Although, slipping into her sweet pussy would be right up there with kissing.

  Cadence whimpers, and we slowly break our newly created bond. “She’s fine,” I say, peeking over Belle’s shoulder. “Must be a dream.”

  “Or maybe she saw us starting to get it on and was letting us know she doesn’t need the visual.”

  “Considering how opinionated her mother can be, that is a likely possibility.”

  “Hey, that’s not a nice thing to say to your bride on our wedding night. Just when I was thinking I might have a garter in the house, I could dig up too.”

  “I take it back.” I pull her closer to me and kiss the top of her head. “I could get used to this. I never used to look forward to the end of our band, but spending days like this with you is definitely softening the blow.”

  Belle snuggles into the crook of my arm. “You guys won’t let the band end. You’re far too talented. The fans will be happy to have new music even without the tours
. Trust me on that. Music is always evolving. Now, I do have a request.”

  “A request from my wife on our wedding night? Whatever it is, the answer is yes.”

  She bites her bottom lip and hesitates before speaking. “Would you mind not telling anyone about this?”

  Is she serious?

  “Why?”

  “So much of our lives are public. I want something for us. Only us. Not Mel or any of our friends. Not Sawyer either. Can we just have this for me and you? We’ll tell them the night of our wedding because today is the only one I ever want to celebrate. July second will now and forever more be the day we combined our hearts and our lives. Thanksgiving will be the day we decide to share it with the world.”

  “If it makes my wife happy, it’ll be our secret.”

  Belle kisses me, and my worries melt away. “Thank you. I just want to relish this feeling a bit longer. But come Thanksgiving, I’m going to blast it to my blog as soon as the wedding is over. All those Darren fans out there hoping you’re going to break up with your baby mama need to know you’re finally off the market for good.”

  “Sexy, protective, jealous, and devious. You’ve got all the signs of a stage-five clinger yet I’m not afraid of you. Why is that?”

  “Hm, I’m not sure. Maybe you’ve always had a secret fantasy of having clinger of your own. One who will adore you, bang your bongo, give birth to your beautiful children, and tell anyone who gets in the way to fuck right off.”

  “Now that sounds like exactly what I was looking for in a wife. No wonder I picked you.”

  Cadence cries, and Belle jumps up to care for her. I’m in awe as she pulls her from her seat, clutches her against her chest, and murmurs soothing words to her.

  “We should go back; it’s starting to get chilly. For the record, Mr. Miller, don’t get it twisted. I picked you almost ten years ago; you just didn’t know it yet.”

  “Well, Mrs. Miller, when you put it that way, you are definitely my own personal clinger. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Tears stream down my cheeks as I pull myself from one of my favorite yet most painful memories of Belle. I’ve never told a soul what happened that night, and I’m not sure I ever will.

  2

  DARREN

  It’s close to ten by the time I return to the house. Pulling a bottle of gin from the cabinet, I toss back a few shots. Gin isn’t my usual go-to, but it works the fastest, and I’d like to be numb tonight.

  I’m anxious this evening. I miss Belle something fierce. Instead of drinking alone, I probably should have gone to the bar and gotten laid. It wouldn’t have been hard; even though the band isn’t putting out new music anymore, groupies are still a dime a dozen. It’s not the first time lately groupie sex hasn’t seemed appealing to me, and it likely won’t be the last.

  The gin shots kick in quickly, and I’m drunk and feeling no pain within the hour. I left the sliding glass door open, allowing the echoes of the waves crashing against the shore to flood the house. The air flowing into the room is chilly, so I’ve also got a fire burning. Music plays through the surround sound, and I’m finally back in the present after spending so much of my day lost in the past.

  Grabbing a beer, I put away the gin. If I drink any more of it, I’m going to hate myself in the morning. It’s warming up in here more than I’d like, but I don’t want to shut off the fire. Instead, I remove my shirt and toss it to the floor. The flames dance seductively, and I lose myself in their beauty. It reminds me of being snowed in up at Sawyer’s cabin in Big Bear. His cabin is the perfect place to be stranded with a date. Snow, sex, solitude, and a roaring fire—it doesn’t get much better than that.

  The sound of a door closing echoes through the house, and Rory saunters into the living room like she owns it. Rory is Sawyer’s baby sister, and sometimes I think she forgets her brother doesn’t live here anymore. Then again, neither do I, but everyone knows this place is my weekend sanctuary.

  “Hey, Darren!”

  “Rory, what are you doing here?”

  She flashes me her signature grin but doesn’t say a word until she plops down next to me on the sofa. Her vanilla scent is laced with more than a hint of whiskey. “Truth? I forgot my new address, and this was the only one I could remember to give the Uber driver.”

  Typical Rory. She’s seven years younger than me, and it really shows sometimes. Or maybe I’m just feeling old as I creep closer to thirty-five.

  “Are you drunk?”

  She holds her fingers about a half-inch apart. “Just this much.” Then she spreads her arms wide. “Or maybe this much. I haven’t quite decided yet.”

  She kicks off her heels and slowly crosses her perfectly sculpted legs. My cock twitches, and I take a long draw of my beer. Rory is like my little sister, but she’s also an undeniably sexy twenty-eight-year-old woman.

  “Well, you can crash in your old room.”

  Her sparkling green eyes meet mine. “I’d rather sleep in yours.”

  Oh, hell no …

  “Very funny, Ror.”

  “I’m not laughing, Darren.” She flips herself onto my lap, spreading those sexy legs wide open, her pussy pressing against my cock. This can only end one way—badly. My dick doesn’t seem to realize that because I’m hard as a rock, a fact she’s well-aware of now.

  “Time to stop messing around. This can never happen, and we both know it. We’re practically brother and sis—”

  Her mouth covers mine before I can finish the sentence. Fuck me, she tastes like the sweetest sin. Instinctively, I lower my hands to her ass as our tongues duel for control. I squeeze her ample cheeks, pulling her tighter to me, and she slows her attack, allowing me to lead. Rory’s whimpers are like a drug to my senses.

  Sex has always been my favorite high and my biggest weakness. Sawyer will kill me if I fuck his sister, but when she moves against my cock, the devil on my shoulder wants this moment with her. Fortunately, there is a part of my mind that still realizes out of all the bad choices I’ve made in life, this would probably top them all.

  “Rory, stop. We can’t do this.”

  She drops her forehead against mine and catches her breath. The scent of her desire lingers between us, setting off an entirely different kind of need. All I can think about is how she’d taste on my tongue. Suddenly, she leans back, her gaze filled with fire. The song changes to “I Feel A Sin Comin’ On” by Pistol Annies. What are the fucking odds?

  Rory grins. “I’ve wanted you since I was fifteen. You’re the man I thought of when I masturbated the first time and so many more times after that. Darren, I’m a grown fucking woman. My brothers don’t get to tell me who to kiss, and they sure the hell don’t get a say in who I get to fuck.”

  She grinds against me and only our clothes separate her sweet fucking pussy from my cock. I’m losing ground fast. She’s a woman with needs—needs I can easily take care of for her.

  “This could never be more than one night, Rory. I don’t want to be that guy, but it’s all I can give you. And Sawyer—”

  “Can never fucking know. My lips are sealed.” Smiling, she leans forward and traces my lips with her tongue. “I can handle one night, but the question is, can you?”

  “Little girl, this rock star aced his one-night stand final a decade ago. You sure you’re ready to swim in the deep end?”

  There has never been a worse idea in the history of bad ideas, but as I’m about to push aside how drunk and horny I am in favor of being an adult, Rory smirks and slides down my legs onto the floor. She unbuttons and unzips my pants in record time. In one smooth motion, she pulls my cock from my boxers and strokes me.

  Her eyes meet mine and lead me straight into temptation. “Fuck the deep end, Darren. I’m about to drown you in my ocean.”

  Rory lowers her head and slides her mouth down my length. She cups my balls with one hand and squeezes my thigh with the other. Her ministrations are a wet dream come true. I weave my fingers through her hair and guide h
er deeper. Her eyes water, but instead of backing off she pushes herself farther and moans with pleasure.

  “Jesus, Rory …”

  She pulls back and meets my gaze. “Can you get it up more than once a night, old man?”

  “I’m not that old. I’ve got stamina for days.”

  Nodding, she licks her lips and circles the tip of my cock with her tongue, lapping up my pre-cum. “Good, because I want you to come in my mouth. I’ve waited too damn long to know what you taste like, and I don’t want to miss a single fucking drop.”

  Holy shit. Her words light my fuck-fuse and all cognitive reasoning is gone. I push her head back down until I’m fully seated at back of her throat and her lips meet the base of my dick. This woman is a sex fiend, and once she’s finished sucking me dry, I’m going to return the favor. Going down on her is going to be my absolute fucking pleasure.

  “Rory, shit … if you don’t stop, I’m going to come.”

  Her eyes meet mine as she sucks harder and faster, making my body crave everything she’s giving. Tingles shoot up the base of my spine, and I chant her name as I come. Every aftershock through my body is reciprocated with an eager moan as she swallows my release.

  Rory leans back, once again licking those perfectly plump lips of hers, and I lift her into my lap. Shifting my hand to the back of her head, I pull her lips to mine and kiss her deeply. I slip my free hand under her skirt and slide my fingers against her wet heat. She’s fucking drenched, and my cock twitches back to life.

  I turn us around and lay her down on the couch. After hiking up her skirt, I pull off her panties and toss them to the floor. She spreads her legs wide, and I lick my lips at the sight of her glistening cunt.

  “Rory,” I meet her lustful gaze with mine, “if you want me to fuck you after this, you’d better scream my name when you come.”

  She bites her lip and nods. “Won’t be hard.”

  Dammit, I already feel myself drowning in her ocean. It doesn’t matter though; it’s only for tonight. My heart is no longer mine to give. It belongs to Belle and always will.