Just an Illusion - Unplugged Read online

  I’m so fucking bleary-eyed I can’t stand it. It’s close to one now. “Can you send a group text? Tell everyone we have a new song and we’ll lay it down after dinner. That will give me a few hours to catch some Zs so my voice doesn’t sound like shit.”

  “Will do. You did good, Sawyer, with the song and with Noah. I’m bummed for you, but I’m also really proud of you, man. There’s no one else I’d want to have my back than you.”

  “I’ve always got your six, Darren … and thanks.”

  It always amazes me how a few hours of sleep, a shower, and some good food can revitalize a person. We’re all down in the garage studio getting ready to start working, but first, they’re passing around copies of the song for everyone to get on the same page and suggest necessary changes.

  Darren was able to build off the music while I napped, and he pretty much finished it by the time I woke up.

  “Damn, Sawyer, you did this in just a few hours? It’s definitely … different.”

  “Different bad?” I ask Wyatt.

  “No, it’s great. It’s got a romantic vibe to it, which is fine, but it’s acoustic and softer, so it seems like a leap. But the end … that’s the fucked-up part, the part that makes this song all you. I’m excited as fuck to lay these tracks down. This is going to be a hit, man.”

  Noah keeps looking from his paper to me and back down again. I think about what Darren said about my heart and wonder if Noah will pick up on it too. I hope not. When he finally opens his mouth to talk, his words surprise me.

  “This song is almost enough for me to say we should forget about retiring and keep touring. You outdid yourself, Sawyer. Your talent is endless. Songwriting is your gift, you really should think about doing it for others. You’d make a killing. I’m proud of you, baby brother.”

  Relief floods through me when I realize Noah is beaming with pride.

  Warren jumps on the praise train too. “The song is fantastic, Sawyer. It’s exactly what this album needs. Before we get to recording, I wanted to give you all an update. Amelia sent over her signed contracts by courier this evening. She’s officially on board, and as long as her background check pans out and you’re all still in agreement, she’s your newest addition to the tour.”

  “You need to call her, Warren, and tell her she needs to have an attorney look over those papers. I don’t want to be accused of fucking her over.”

  “Calm down, Sawyer. Her attorney’s office already went over everything with her.”

  Bullshit. “On a Sunday? I don’t buy it.”

  “Ah, she … said she had a family friend who helped her with some paperwork before she was going to ask. A lawyer who helped her deal with her grandmother’s estate.”

  “Good, then we’re all set. Things are looking up, guys. It’s fate.”

  Noah’s optimism never ceases to amaze me, but I get the feeling there’s something Warren isn’t telling us. Like me, Warren isn’t one who usually trips over his words. It’s his job to be assertive and on the ball. As long as she had the paperwork looked at, that’s all I care about at this point. I’m going to try to push Amelia Greyson out of my mind. Maybe by the time the tour starts, I won’t even remember what it was about her that made my heart race and my dick instantaneously hard.

  All Aboard – The Beginning Of The Tour

  “Sawyer, be safe, okay?” Mom’s eyes fill with tears as she hugs me goodbye.

  “I’m good, Mom. Everything will be fine. We’ll be back for Thanksgiving, and soon enough we’ll be home for good.”

  Her answering smile is all I need to see. It doesn’t matter how old we get; this woman is going to forever worry about us. “I can’t wait until you’re back for good, and neither can your dad.”

  My dad chuckles from across the bus where he’s hugging Noah goodbye. “We love you guys. As long as you’re happy, we’re happy.”

  After we’ve swapped parents and hugs, Mom pulls two tins from her bag. “Cookies?”

  Noah laughs as I reach for the tins, but Mom knows to only give me mine. “One for you, and one for you. You’ll have to come home for Thanksgiving to get more.”

  “As if I’d miss out on cookies.” She narrows her eyes at me, and I hug her one last time. “Just kidding, Mom, you know we won’t miss a family holiday. We’ll Skype in a few days, I promise.”

  Once they leave, Noah looks around the bus.

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing, just taking it all in, I guess. It’s strange knowing we’re leaving on tour for the last time.”

  I swear, I’m trying to be accepting of this, but that sentence really pushes my buttons. “Well, it was your call.”

  “Come on, Sawyer, are we ever going to get past this? I thought we’d be okay by now.”

  “We’re fine,” I grudgingly admit. “It’s still a sore spot. I’m going to get over it. Just ignore me for now.”

  “We’ll make it one for the books, okay? Do tons of fun stuff, take lots of pictures, make a list of all the places we’d like to come back to visit one day when we have the time. Maybe you’ll finally be able to sit down and ask Rhymin’ Rieanne all those questions that have been lingering in your mind.”

  Now he’s got me smiling. “For starters, I want to know if that’s her real name.”

  “That’s the spirit. I’m sad too, Sawyer, but you know what makes me happy?”

  “Retiring?”

  He replies with a roll of his eyes. “Haha, you’re so funny. But no. What I was going to say is all I can think about is this being the beginning of something new and amazing for us. Our new business, whatever it will be …”

  “Wait, business?”

  “Duh, we have to work, and there’s no one else I want to work with than my brothers. We’ve always joked about opening an indie label. Let’s do it. Or something. I don’t want to leave the scene forever, I just need a change of pace.”

  Something about his words makes me pause. All this time I just assumed this was his way of cutting things off. He’s always made comments, but this is the first time he’s actually come out and said for sure he still wants me around.

  “I’d like that.”

  “Me too. I know you’re not there yet, but I’m excited for this next phase. Finding a girl, settling down, getting married, popping out some kids. You need to get on board soon though, Sawyer, because I can’t imagine our kids not growing up together.”

  “I can’t either. How are we on such polar opposite ends of the scale on this matter?”

  Noah’s always been wise beyond his years, but his next words give me something to think about.

  “You’ve had your heart on lockdown since the day you went to Aunt Cindy’s and found all their … bodies … and J. I don’t know what you went through that day, but the after effects … I saw those. When I even think about how bad it was, it breaks my heart, and knowing you and J lived through that massacre … well …”

  He pauses and swipes a stray tear from his eye. We don’t talk about this because it’s hard for me, but seeing the effect it’s having on him now makes me realize J and I weren’t as alone as I thought.

  “I just don’t know how the two of you got through it and became such incredible people. Both of you were different after that day, and rightfully so. We all were. It completely changed our family dynamic, but it was like I saw that lock click shut around your heart and it’s still there.”

  “Noah, come on.”

  “Humor me. I only get melodramatic once a year or so, and today is my day.”

  “Fine,” I mutter as my heart races nervously.

  “Right under the surface I still see the real you. The non-bastard, the guy who does anything for the people he loves. You’re a far better person than I’ll ever be. You ran into that house, Sawyer, fear be damned. I would have fled. It would have broken me, my psyche isn’t that strong. But you persevered, you called for help, you saved J, and it was hard as fuck, but you still came out okay. You are a good man, Sawyer, a
nd you deserve to be happy. You need to start allowing some light into your life. It’s time for you to have your first girlfriend, and when you find the right woman to give you some kids, you can thank me by naming your firstborn after me.”

  I chuckle, trying to lighten the heavy mood. “So that whole pep talk was really for you to tell me you want me to name my kid after you?”

  “Well, you shouldn’t be the only Weston with a namesake,” he teases, and the air is instantly lighter. I know what he’s trying to do, and I appreciate it, but it’s something I need to think long and hard about and now is not the time.

  “They’re here,” Darren says, bounding onto the bus like Tigger and then bouncing right off again.

  “Where does he get all that fucking energy?” Noah stares at the invisible trail of speed left in Darren’s wake.

  “Fuck if I know, but I wish I had some. Come on, let’s go greet the princesses.”

  “Be nice,” he cautions.

  “I’m always nice, but if she wants to fit in, she’s going to have to show her worth. I’m not going to be easy on her because she’s a girl.”

  “Just don’t be an asshole on purpose all the time, and don’t laugh at her if she’s sick the first few days. You know how hard it was to get used to being on the road in the beginning.”

  “I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just nervous.”

  Noah is nothing but sincere, and I feel for him. “Me too, but it will be great.”

  As we exit the bus, I keep trying to tell myself I believe it.

  Noah is taking Amelia to the bus to show her around, and Bethie is giving me the evil eye like a motherfucker right now.

  “Shit, I left my laptop in the car. I’ll be back in a few.” Wyatt kisses Anna before he walks away.

  With her hands strategically placed on her hips and her eyes dancing with delight, she narrows her focus on me. “You’re in so much trouble. You’ve been holding out on me, Weston, spill it.”

  I can’t help but smile at her. With her pixie-like features, she looks like a ticked-off Tinkerbell. Fuck, I love this girl. “There’s nothing to spill, Bethie. Drop it.”

  “Ha! I don’t think so. Sawyer Weston, you’re blushing!”

  There’s no way I’m blushing, but just in case I lace my arm through hers. “Let’s take a walk around the parking lot, shall we?”

  She stretches up on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek. “Lead the way.”

  “There’s nothing going on. She’s here to write the book.”

  “But you like her. I haven’t seen you light up like that since … well, since the bitch who shall not be named.”

  Anna shudders in my arms as if even thinking about her gives her the heebie jeebies.

  “I don’t know her enough to like her.”

  “But you’re not opposed to liking her,” she presses.

  “I’m not opposed to being her friend.”

  That stops Anna dead in her tracks. “Are you in love with her?”

  “Damn, Bethie, you’re adorable. Let’s turn the dial down on the crazy today, okay? I’m definitely not in love with the princess.”

  “Let me count your infractions already, shall I?” She starts ticking off points on her fingers one by one. “You gave her a nickname and, correct me if I’m wrong, I’m the only person who has ever gotten a nickname from you, and we used to be together … sort of.”

  “So you’ll admit it when no one is around, huh?”

  “Stop, it was like two hours, but still, for nickname purposes, we’re using it. Next, you said you’re willing to be her friend. Sawyer, you don’t do friends. If I recall correctly, you said the only friends you’ll ever make are us because you know we were true to you before your fame.”

  She’s got a big point there. That has always been my motto.

  “And … this is a big one … she made you blush, Sawyer. Please tell me you love her,” she begs. I want to tell her about the kiss. Anna is one person I never want to lie to.

  “Are you done?”

  “For now,” she replies, bouncing excitedly on the tips of her toes.

  “There are things I want to tell you, but I can’t because you’ll tell Wyatt.”

  She immediately frowns, and I squeeze her hand to let her know I understand.

  “What I can tell you is if I had a reason to blush, it’s over. Noah called dibs. He really likes her.”

  After releasing a huge sigh, she pulls me into a hug. “You’re a good brother, but the world doesn’t revolve around Noah.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I practically growl the words, but she stands her ground.

  “It means you forsake your happiness often to be sure Noah stays happy. He does the same for you, I know it’s a two-way street, but it just seems like where girls are concerned, you always back off. Maybe it’s your turn this time.”

  In high school, it didn’t matter. Girls were a dime a dozen; if Noah wanted one he could have her. He was always relationship-bound while I was just happy to get laid. It was the same after high school. Groupies are always DTF, but Noah doesn’t do groupies, so we never had to worry there.

  “It’s not that big of a deal. I’m not even in relationship mode. It’s cool, Bethie.”

  “My spidey sense is telling me it’s a bigger deal than you’re letting on, but I’ll let it go. If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”

  “See, this is why you’re my best friend. You know when to let shit drop. Thank you.”

  Tucking herself under my arm as we walk back to the buses, she laughs. “I know how you work, Sawyer, and when I need to I’ll push your buttons, but today isn’t that day.”

  Well, thank God for that.

  “I see how you are, Weston, stealing my last few precious minutes with my wife. It’s cool, no big deal.”

  “Shut it, Wyatt. You’re the one who picked my best friend to marry. I have to take our stolen moments alone when I can. They don’t come along too often anymore.”

  I’m only half joking, and from the sheepish look on his face, he knows it.

  “You know I was kidding, right? If you need her, she’s yours. Uh, in the friendship sense that is. She’s mine for everything else.”

  Holding up my hand, I stop him from going further. “Stop, just stop. I get off at the friendship stop. You can stay on the train as it chugs along to freaky town. Speaking of, Darren and Belle just got off your bus, go steal the last few minutes and get your freak on before it’s too late.”

  Anna kisses me on the cheek and pulls Wyatt. “Come on, loverboy, I need some O’s to remember you by.”

  Wyatt picks her up by her waist and spins her around before running with her onto the bus.

  Belle and Darren wander over and she cocks a brow at me. “You’re awfully smiley. That’s not common for you, is it?” She’s glowing in an after-sex haze.

  “Depends on the day, I guess. You guys all good till next month?”

  Darren eyes her lasciviously. “If not, there’s always Skype.”

  She bites down on her lip and nods her approval. “You’re a fucking dirty bastard, but I like it.” Belle turns her gaze to me. “Promise you’re going to take care of my girl? Road trips … well, they’re not really her thing.”

  With a raised brow, Darren silently questions me as well. Fucker. “She’ll be fine. I’m sure Noah will take good care of her.”

  “What about you?” she counters a little too rapidly. “Will you take care of her? She’s pretty fucking special, and I don’t want anything to happen to her. We don’t know each other from Adam, but I need you both to promise me you’ll watch over her. Sometimes Mel needs …”

  “What? If she needs something special, we should know.” The sudden panic in my chest is unfamiliar.

  “No, nothing like that. She doesn’t have any medical conditions or anything. Mel’s a typical writer and can get lost inside of herself sometimes. Just make sure she takes time for
some fun. Push her outside of her comfort zone, make her realize this job is supposed to be an adventure too. She’ll tell the best story for you guys, I have no doubt. I just want her to live a bit. She needs this, more than you could imagine.”

  “We can handle that, no problem. Right, Sawyer?”

  “Yeah, of course. She’ll be fine. Promise.”

  “Will you?” she counters, and I automatically take a step back. Darren covers his mouth and spins in a circle with a look that only describes how I’m feeling. What does she know?

  “Why wouldn’t I be? I’m touring with a princess and my brothers. Life couldn’t be better.”

  She eyes me suspiciously and then reaches out her hand. “Give me your phone.”

  “Why?”

  With a quick roll of her eyes, she sighs. “Because, against my better judgment, I think the devil is more redeemable than anyone ever knew.”

  Darren and I exchange confused glances. “In English, please?” I prompt.

  “Oh yeah, sorry. Because I’m going to take you at your promise, and since you’re on the same bus, I’m going to text you to check in on her. I won’t give out your number. I have a professional reputation to uphold, and one bad word from you could tank it. I’ve got too much to lose, but this is my sister we’re talking about, so please just humor me, okay?”

  “You had me at sister. Here.”

  She quickly programs her number and gives my phone back. “Thanks,” she says sincerely before we all head back to the bus. This tour is getting off to an interesting start.

  A few hours after we’re on the bus, Mel is already asleep. I’ve never seen anyone fall asleep on a bus so fast, it’s like she’s completely at home. Noah and I both went to our respective rooms, and I’ve been lightly playing my guitar and writing down new lyrics. I love being on the bus; it’s been our home for so long that it has a calming effect on me. Only one other place in the world can do that—my grandparents’ house, well … my house now.

  My phone goes off, and I grab it anxiously. Before Mel laid down, she said she was turning off her phone but to wake her if we needed her. When I came to my room, I sent her a link to “Welcome to the Jungle” by Guns N’ Roses as a welcome text. I’m decidedly curious to see what, if anything, she’ll text back. Even though she detests our music, she seems to have a good amount of musical knowledge. It’s probably because her best friend is in the business. I’m sure they spend a lot of time together going to gigs and stuff, but something is telling me it goes deeper than that.